The Worst Christmas Songs
Christmas time is a cornucopia of holiday cheer on the senses. Lights twinkle, draped over house roofs, the smell of pine and freshly baked goods permeate the chilly air, and the age old practice of playing the same 10 Christmas songs broadcast over the radios. Every year we hear the classics while shopping, decorating with the kids, or just driving in your car, trying to muster the spirit of Christmas into your heart so you don’t go on a murder spree mid-traffic.
Some songs are great! “White Christmas”, “Winter Wonderland”, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”, and “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” are all timeless and pleasant songs to listen to. They evoke childhood memories and intense feelings of nostalgia. See below*
Then there are the songs listed below. Let’s take a look at some of the songs that make me curse Alexa for even suggesting them in my household.
“Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” By Elmo & Patsy
What in the ghost of Christmas past, present, and future is this???? I cringe every time I hear this song. People think it’s fun, but I think it’s just the epitome of boomer humor. I remember when my actual grandma was visiting for Christmas the year that this song came out and we played it over, and over, and over again. She thought it was hilarious, but 11 year old me knew better. I knew this song would haunt me for many Christmas’ to come, and I still change the channel or leave a room when I hear this song. It’s not funny, the singing is terrible, and it’s just plain BAD.
“Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday” By *NSYNC
Some songs are timeless. This is not one of those songs. Back when boy groups were the hip new sensation, a lot of pop stars had their go at a Christmas album or song. NSYNC was no different. First of all, the opening sequence ages like milk with Gary Coleman opening. I think it was supposed to be funny with the “whatchu talkin’ bout, Gary?” – a play on a famous line that nobody in today’s youth would get. The rest of the video showcases the ridiculousness of the late 90’s with iced hair tips, puffy vests, and a young Justin Timberlake (who has admittedly a good voice), all set over a crappy green screen. Oy vey!
“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”
Ok, there’s a lot to unpack here. My niece LOVES to sing this song, as it’s admittedly a fun child sing along. The older I get though, the worse this song seems to get. Maybe I just have a vendetta against songs featuring reindeer as the main subject, but I cannot stand the melody, tune, or lyrics. The worst is when someone adds in the filler to the song (ex, “They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games….” “Like monopoly!”) Arguably the worst part of the song though is that it seems to go on forever. It’s a long song with a story that seems to never end. I accidently picked the most annoying version for the video above as well, so it’s extra grating to the ears. You’re welcome!
“All I Want for Christmas is You” – By Mariah Carey
This is not a dig on Mariah Carey’s voice or her incredible singing ability. Honestly, even the song itself is not bad in an isolated incident. The true crimes of this song though are too high to ignore. Go in any mall across America and you will hear this song play over and over and over and over again. It’s the sheer repetition of the song that makes it so intolerable to hear around this time of year. The high upbeat starting of the song, the bells, and the ability for less than talented singers to attempt to sing along are so obnoxious. Have you ever had someone try to hit that “YOUUUUU” high note at the end needs to remind them that they are indeed NOT an internationally famous singer for a reason?
What are some Christmas songs you cannot stand? Bonus: I hate/love this song so much.
